The First Day
Some moments last a lifetime – others can only last a day.
As a teacher, Day 1 is a little bit different than the first day that our students experience. We have often been in the building for at least a week – feverishly moving furniture around because, in our mind, moving our desk somehow means that all the mistakes made under the old desk placement regime will be forgiven. Some of us have even moved classes because the painful memories of room 303 were just too much to bear.
We feel that things are finally going to be different this year as quiet students come into our class for the first time. They get to experience us, in that moment, at our most organized, our most over prepared, at our most zen, and everything goes exactly as it should.
At the end of the day we tell our colleagues how wonderful our class was, how responsive they were, how calm, how clean.
Day 1 truly is the perfect day. Kudos to you, perfect teacher.
Some moments last a lifetime – others can only last a day.
As a teacher, Day 1 is a little bit different than the first day that our students experience. We have often been in the building for at least a week – feverishly moving furniture around because, in our mind, moving our desk somehow means that all the mistakes made under the old desk placement regime will be forgiven. Some of us have even moved classes because the painful memories of room 303 were just too much to bear.
We feel that things are finally going to be different this year as quiet students come into our class for the first time. They get to experience us, in that moment, at our most organized, our most over prepared, at our most zen, and everything goes exactly as it should.
At the end of the day we tell our colleagues how wonderful our class was, how responsive they were, how calm, how clean.
Day 1 truly is the perfect day. Kudos to you, perfect teacher.
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As an aside, I knew a guy once, who when rotating the tires on his car, over tightened the bolts that hold the tires on, sheering them completely. He hadn’t driven more than a block when suddenly every single tire fell off simultaneously. The bottom of his car fell to the asphalt as the wheels continued to roll on down the road. I don’t know why that story popped into my head just now. Bring on Day 2! |
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The National Anthem
Thursday’s always seem to be trivia night, and you can’t miss trivia night.
Friday mornings are always assemblies, and you can’t miss assemblies. So when you’re hungover and tired and those kids start belting out that national anthem; your thoughts filled with images of Terry Fox and Canadian Junior Hockey – it’s okay to have a little cry. You’re still a man, and we all heart Canada! |
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Field Trips
Field trips are a great opportunity for students. They provide a day outside the four walls of the classroom to experience alternative opinions, magnificent culture and significantly more time on a school bus.
Whether you are traveling to a museum, a theatrical performance, or a week-long camp – your young students will invariably show you a side of themselves that you never expected.
Field trips also have an added bonus; they provide an opportunity for you to recruit parent volunteers.
Every parent who chooses to take time out of their busy schedule to help you on a field trip is someone who has made a conscious decision to be in your corner. If they can make it through the day without throwing in the towel and without the small number of students in their care getting injured, then they have fulfilled their duties admirably.
A field trip is a great opportunity in that sense, not just for students to experience something new, but for parents to get a chance to feel what it’s like to be ring-side. They aren’t fighting the good fight like you, every day, but they all get a first hand experience of what it must be like.
We appreciate parents who volunteer, and they appreciate you even more.
Especially when they realize how easily one day with six students can knock them out – and that you have to battle 26 of them on a daily basis.
Field trips are a great opportunity for students. They provide a day outside the four walls of the classroom to experience alternative opinions, magnificent culture and significantly more time on a school bus.
Whether you are traveling to a museum, a theatrical performance, or a week-long camp – your young students will invariably show you a side of themselves that you never expected.
Field trips also have an added bonus; they provide an opportunity for you to recruit parent volunteers.
Every parent who chooses to take time out of their busy schedule to help you on a field trip is someone who has made a conscious decision to be in your corner. If they can make it through the day without throwing in the towel and without the small number of students in their care getting injured, then they have fulfilled their duties admirably.
A field trip is a great opportunity in that sense, not just for students to experience something new, but for parents to get a chance to feel what it’s like to be ring-side. They aren’t fighting the good fight like you, every day, but they all get a first hand experience of what it must be like.
We appreciate parents who volunteer, and they appreciate you even more.
Especially when they realize how easily one day with six students can knock them out – and that you have to battle 26 of them on a daily basis.
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The School Play
As a drama major, and certified drama geek, The Lower School Production is my Achilles-Heal of emotion. I rarely cry when times are tough. Either because of nature, or nurture, or some delicate dance between the two. I just don’t seem to show outward emotion during troubling situations. That said, when I see students perform – I am a blubbering mess. It’s not just the pride in their performance that breaks me down, but rather, the feeling of relief I have for the teachers and students who dedicated so much of their time and effort into the unseen hours that preceded such a beautiful event. |
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I know the work that went into this. I know the amount of time that was spent. I know the tears that were shed.
This goes well beyond the assembly that teachers prep for one week in advance and are relieved to just get out of the way.
Every parent attended this show – not just the Tiger Moms – and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
This goes well beyond the assembly that teachers prep for one week in advance and are relieved to just get out of the way.
Every parent attended this show – not just the Tiger Moms – and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
Recess
If you ask your students to record their favourite subject in school, you will always get at least one girl (and 6 boys), who will write down “recess.” If they’re ever brave enough to read this aloud for the other students to hear, the whole class will laugh, because, afterall, it’s a joke, right? Recess isn’t a subject.
As you all laugh together, keep a watchful eye on where the students are looking. The longer that laugh sustains, the more eyes will start to glance over at the clock.
8 minutes to go. Oh god! It was 5 minutes the last time I checked.
Jesus. It can’t come soon enough.
For your students, the top events of the calendar year are, in order, Christmas, their own birthday, maybe Earth Day, and then the next subsequent recess. It may not be a subject, but it is, and should be, everyone’s favourite.
It’s that Friday at 5 feeling, everyday - sometimes twice a day - if your school likes it play it loose.
Just 9 more minutes.
If you ask your students to record their favourite subject in school, you will always get at least one girl (and 6 boys), who will write down “recess.” If they’re ever brave enough to read this aloud for the other students to hear, the whole class will laugh, because, afterall, it’s a joke, right? Recess isn’t a subject.
As you all laugh together, keep a watchful eye on where the students are looking. The longer that laugh sustains, the more eyes will start to glance over at the clock.
8 minutes to go. Oh god! It was 5 minutes the last time I checked.
Jesus. It can’t come soon enough.
For your students, the top events of the calendar year are, in order, Christmas, their own birthday, maybe Earth Day, and then the next subsequent recess. It may not be a subject, but it is, and should be, everyone’s favourite.
It’s that Friday at 5 feeling, everyday - sometimes twice a day - if your school likes it play it loose.
Just 9 more minutes.
Assemblies
Your dream in life was to be anything but a teacher – and today, you fulfilled that dream.
Despite being on the calendar for months in advance, for two days, you found yourself in the role of the director of a major theatrical hit. Your students were required to put on a performance and despite the fact that the show was entirely on their shoulders, you found yourself being hired on as the director, cinematographer, stage manager and lighting technician.
Yes, your students turned out to be more creative than you ever thought they could be, but it was all on you to make sure that they pulled off their vision – abstract though it may be.
When you host an assembly, you are the unsung hero; you are the man behind the scene. Your students are the stars and often their “mistakes” steal the show. So take a moment to step back, let the chips fall where they may, and enjoy how a little piece of amateur theatre can overwhelm a critical audience and know that despite your qualifications – you were never considered for the leading role.
You’re still just a teacher – your students are Hollywood Royalty.
Your dream in life was to be anything but a teacher – and today, you fulfilled that dream.
Despite being on the calendar for months in advance, for two days, you found yourself in the role of the director of a major theatrical hit. Your students were required to put on a performance and despite the fact that the show was entirely on their shoulders, you found yourself being hired on as the director, cinematographer, stage manager and lighting technician.
Yes, your students turned out to be more creative than you ever thought they could be, but it was all on you to make sure that they pulled off their vision – abstract though it may be.
When you host an assembly, you are the unsung hero; you are the man behind the scene. Your students are the stars and often their “mistakes” steal the show. So take a moment to step back, let the chips fall where they may, and enjoy how a little piece of amateur theatre can overwhelm a critical audience and know that despite your qualifications – you were never considered for the leading role.
You’re still just a teacher – your students are Hollywood Royalty.
Three-Way Conferences
It was a strange time in my teaching career when our Principal announced that we would no longer be having Parent-Teacher Interviews. The things I knew as a kid about how parents were involved in the academic and social life of their children ceased to exist.
As a student, I went to school, I brought home my good tests for placement on the refrigerator, I got the occasional report card, and my parents knew about what went on in my 9 to 5 based entirely on those things. Save for that one time per year when they went to talk one-on-one with the teacher, and the occasional black-eye from the playground, my home world and my school world did not collide.
So, when I was told that the Parent-Teacher Interview would be replaced with a Three-Way, I was more than a little shocked.
I have since been a part of many a Three-Way, and even though they are just about the worst thing to happen to a student – they will forever be the most awkwardly funny event of the calendar year.
For those not in the know, a Three-Way is where parents, teachers, and now, students, get together for a conference. And during this time, parents and teachers talk about and sometimes directly at, one mortified little individual who probably looked up Three-Way on the internet a few days before – and did not see this coming.
What follows is even more horrific than any Google Search could possibly yield. For twenty plus agonizing minutes, that student has to listen to the major adult players in their life, talk about them as if they had inadvertently been a fly on the wall at one of the aforementioned Parent-Teacher Interviews. They can not believe how often their handwriting is scrutinized, or how frequently their inability to times tables is mentioned. They cower into obscurity as they simultaneously question the inaccurate description of what a Three-Way was on UrbanDictionary.com.
Though this student may never improve their handwriting, or learn their times tables up to twelve – they will forever be monogamous.
It was a strange time in my teaching career when our Principal announced that we would no longer be having Parent-Teacher Interviews. The things I knew as a kid about how parents were involved in the academic and social life of their children ceased to exist.
As a student, I went to school, I brought home my good tests for placement on the refrigerator, I got the occasional report card, and my parents knew about what went on in my 9 to 5 based entirely on those things. Save for that one time per year when they went to talk one-on-one with the teacher, and the occasional black-eye from the playground, my home world and my school world did not collide.
So, when I was told that the Parent-Teacher Interview would be replaced with a Three-Way, I was more than a little shocked.
I have since been a part of many a Three-Way, and even though they are just about the worst thing to happen to a student – they will forever be the most awkwardly funny event of the calendar year.
For those not in the know, a Three-Way is where parents, teachers, and now, students, get together for a conference. And during this time, parents and teachers talk about and sometimes directly at, one mortified little individual who probably looked up Three-Way on the internet a few days before – and did not see this coming.
What follows is even more horrific than any Google Search could possibly yield. For twenty plus agonizing minutes, that student has to listen to the major adult players in their life, talk about them as if they had inadvertently been a fly on the wall at one of the aforementioned Parent-Teacher Interviews. They can not believe how often their handwriting is scrutinized, or how frequently their inability to times tables is mentioned. They cower into obscurity as they simultaneously question the inaccurate description of what a Three-Way was on UrbanDictionary.com.
Though this student may never improve their handwriting, or learn their times tables up to twelve – they will forever be monogamous.
Picture Day
Today, the little skateboarding enthusiast in your class with the usually unkempt mane has come to class particularly preened. Her typical tussle has been replaced by prim and proper and while her parents must have worked hard to achieve this look, she is less than impressed. Count her amongst the many movers and shakers in class for whom picture day is worse than a trip to the dentist. Yes, picture day is the day where you realise that while smiling is not a learned behaviour, smiling for the camera is very much a skill that needs to be developed.
When those photos finally get processed and are sent home to eagerly awaiting parents, they often include wardrobe malfunctions, hair mishaps, and awkward smiles with either too many, or too few teeth - and a difficult decision awaits - which size portrait do we give to grandma during the next visit?
Today, the little skateboarding enthusiast in your class with the usually unkempt mane has come to class particularly preened. Her typical tussle has been replaced by prim and proper and while her parents must have worked hard to achieve this look, she is less than impressed. Count her amongst the many movers and shakers in class for whom picture day is worse than a trip to the dentist. Yes, picture day is the day where you realise that while smiling is not a learned behaviour, smiling for the camera is very much a skill that needs to be developed.
When those photos finally get processed and are sent home to eagerly awaiting parents, they often include wardrobe malfunctions, hair mishaps, and awkward smiles with either too many, or too few teeth - and a difficult decision awaits - which size portrait do we give to grandma during the next visit?
The real magic though is that whole class photo. While many students manage to muster a sensible smile, there are always at least half the kids looking in every direction except the camera, staring off into the distance like they’re posing for a Christian rock album cover. And despite the photographer's best effort to elicit proper spacing, at least one student will be so far removed from the others, it’s as if he were the lone resident of cootie-town.
So, kudos to you parents, your daughter did look really clean, despite her stiffness, when she came in this morning. Her pants were pressed, her hair was flat and her white shirt was Tide clean.
I use the term “was,” because unfortunately, picture day was after recess and… someone found a mud puddle. Not to worry though, when those pictures do come home, you’ll see the only kid in class who didn’t have to force a smile - and grandma is going to want the biggest photo you got.
So, kudos to you parents, your daughter did look really clean, despite her stiffness, when she came in this morning. Her pants were pressed, her hair was flat and her white shirt was Tide clean.
I use the term “was,” because unfortunately, picture day was after recess and… someone found a mud puddle. Not to worry though, when those pictures do come home, you’ll see the only kid in class who didn’t have to force a smile - and grandma is going to want the biggest photo you got.
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Camp
For those educators brave and foolhardy enough to think teaching hours should extend past midnight, a must have event on the calendar is the annual student camping trip. This is an event where students get out there; where they extend their comfort zone; where they learn to appreciate nature, skin their knees and maybe even get a bug bite or two. Camp is a place where students discover what they’re made of and where teachers affirm what they knew all along - that their students are soft as baby shit. |
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Camp with kids is more Lord of the Flies than Robinson Crusoe. An entire grade level of feral miscreants, hopped up on s’mores and bbq sausages and several days removed from consuming a vegetable.
A bug bite or two? Try a bug bite or two hundred. Several kids under your care are officially out of blood and a swarm of mosquitos just made off with a corpse. My dad always used to tell me that the best bug repellent is a can of “Off!” so long as it still has more than 25% DEET. I beg to differ. The best way to avoid being bit by a mosquito is standing next to a small child. Apparently their blood type is Ragu.
Camp truly is an eye opening experience for our students. This is, of course, kid code for staying up past my bedtime, because despite having only been away from home for one night, these little bundles of joy are showing signs of sleep deprivation, indicative of not having slept in weeks.
So why is camp such a wonderful experience?
Every bug bite eventually becomes a point of pride. Every minute spent awake past midnight, a bragging right. And though there are always tears, they are forgotten in a week. For the kids, the memories that remain are their triumph over the day-long hike, that first dive into the water they did off the Paddle-board, and how sweet that combination of fire, marshmallow and chocolate tasted under the starry sky.
Who needs The afterbite.
Pass me another graham cracker.
Pajama Day
A bug bite or two? Try a bug bite or two hundred. Several kids under your care are officially out of blood and a swarm of mosquitos just made off with a corpse. My dad always used to tell me that the best bug repellent is a can of “Off!” so long as it still has more than 25% DEET. I beg to differ. The best way to avoid being bit by a mosquito is standing next to a small child. Apparently their blood type is Ragu.
Camp truly is an eye opening experience for our students. This is, of course, kid code for staying up past my bedtime, because despite having only been away from home for one night, these little bundles of joy are showing signs of sleep deprivation, indicative of not having slept in weeks.
So why is camp such a wonderful experience?
Every bug bite eventually becomes a point of pride. Every minute spent awake past midnight, a bragging right. And though there are always tears, they are forgotten in a week. For the kids, the memories that remain are their triumph over the day-long hike, that first dive into the water they did off the Paddle-board, and how sweet that combination of fire, marshmallow and chocolate tasted under the starry sky.
Who needs The afterbite.
Pass me another graham cracker.
Pajama Day
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Pajama Day is the laziest of the theme days, but who says that the best things in life require effort? Unless what you sleep in is not suitable for an audience, Pajama Day should involve little more than rolling out of bed and showing up late to work.
While you normally walk around with a coffee mug in your hand for the first half of the day, today it is acknowledged as a clever part of your “costume,” as are your untamed cowlicks and slightly malodorous scent. You may not win any prizes for your “effort,” but the pancakes served in the cafeteria are served to all, except those with a gluten intolerance. |
Of course, there are those that take pajama day seriously - those that go out of their way to prepare, purchasing novelty slippers, silly onesies and putting their hair into curlers, despite never wearing their hair anything but uncompromisingly straight.
Let them have their moment.
You value realism.
Time for a nap.
Let them have their moment.
You value realism.
Time for a nap.
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The Middle School Dance
Prior to grade 6, when students are asked if they want to have a class party, they are full of ideas. There are often numerous themes put forth and, depending on the size of your grade level, you will either have to vote on one or two ideas, or, you may be able to have a different theme going in each room - giving students the opportunity to choose. |
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Perhaps you have karaoke in one room, board games in another, a movie down the hall and, of course, one room with a plethora of shared snacks including more 2 litre bottles of Coca-Cola than you’ve seen in your entire life (somehow, all consumed by parties end).
In grade 6, however, there is a shift. The focus of the students is narrowed to the point that any suggestions aside from a dance are rudely dismissed as asinine. As a teacher, you will never hear a grade 6 student say, “may we have a class party at the end of term?” You will only ever hear, “whenarewe gonna havea dance?”
You know the Middle School Dance.
It is the ultimate simile vehicle.
Whether you’re describing a situation that makes you feel awkward or self-conscious, or just trying to explain divergent plate tectonics, harkening back to the memories of a middle school dance will leave your audience with tightness in their chest, but also a complete, visceral understanding.
As an educator, not only can you use this experience for the future teachings of language features, but you get to sit back, behind your teacher desk, and observe your students experience anxiety, insecurity and embarrassment, all while not having to take part yourself.
But more importantly, you also get a front row seat to witness when those brave souls eventually work up the courage to accelerate out of adolescence and Evel Knievel that gender gap in the centre of the dance floor, straight into adulthood.
Well, in their minds at least.
In grade 6, however, there is a shift. The focus of the students is narrowed to the point that any suggestions aside from a dance are rudely dismissed as asinine. As a teacher, you will never hear a grade 6 student say, “may we have a class party at the end of term?” You will only ever hear, “whenarewe gonna havea dance?”
You know the Middle School Dance.
It is the ultimate simile vehicle.
Whether you’re describing a situation that makes you feel awkward or self-conscious, or just trying to explain divergent plate tectonics, harkening back to the memories of a middle school dance will leave your audience with tightness in their chest, but also a complete, visceral understanding.
As an educator, not only can you use this experience for the future teachings of language features, but you get to sit back, behind your teacher desk, and observe your students experience anxiety, insecurity and embarrassment, all while not having to take part yourself.
But more importantly, you also get a front row seat to witness when those brave souls eventually work up the courage to accelerate out of adolescence and Evel Knievel that gender gap in the centre of the dance floor, straight into adulthood.
Well, in their minds at least.
